In life we all have our own personal "secret" hobbies...Writing has always been my "thing" && i have tons of things to write about so im going to try it out && share my gift with the world...my mind,my heart, my soul...My FIRST love
WHO IS SLATE???
you know that short skinny girl, that says whatever the heck she wants? she is SLATE! she is #FREE
I've been through the darkest of the hells....ive been the ugliest duckling...and yet ive grown into a beautiful woman....i am the rose that grew through the concrete
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
As I sit here and try to contemplate and make sense of recent hurt, as i sit here and try to fool myself about the truth...i sit here all alone as the tears never seem to stop, staring at a suicide letter dated to God 2 weeks ago, my soul hurts, my chest is tight, my mind is heavy and my body is tired...to the outside world im happy, healthy, smiling and free, on the inside i have to deal with the constant thought of knowing that my time on this earth isnt much longer and i hold in my screams i just want to say "Oh God WHY ME?!" see this isn't a mystery i fought my way into this world at a wopping 2 Ilbs and it was known ever since that day that my days might not be long, ive known since 10 grade that one day i'd be free several years later im find myself sometimes begging to be freed. God granted me with a big heart...and im not just talking literally...i love so many people nearly everyone i meet, i love strangers i even love my enemies, i love people so easily because my of my heart. Most of the time my heart beats fast, sometimes slow from time to time it almost stops and its all beyond my control, sometimes i faint and i cant even remember why or how it happened. But one thing that i have never done is be stingy with my heart, my heart thats inside of my chest may be weak but it loves and it loves deep...and most of the time people take my heart for granted they take selfish advantage of my heart because they know that no matter what happens my heart will still accept them, most people call me dumb i call it "living"...sometimes i gets hard because i know that one day it'll stop beating and my family and love ones will all miss me, i try to fight this battle as long and as hard as i can and i try to forgive the ignorant, i not always right and people in this world wont always treat me right, but i was effortlessly equipped to forgive, as i sit here and think the only word that comes to mind is "remorse"...this world is dirty and this world is harsh and one thing that i've learned the hard way is that everyone isn't the same, i thought that because i was made so unselfishly that others would be the same...FALSE... people will make you equivalent to dirt and do it all while smiling in your , people will hurt you and lie to you without feeling any type of remorse, people lie and scheme behind your back and will smile in your face with the most innocent and honest smile and when everything comes to light and all is said and done there is no remorse, when times get hard for me i try to make the battle my own instead of placing it all in the hands of the lord, i know that my actions aren't always right but when you've presented the real you to a person and when everything finally comes to true you find out that you've been the only one without a mask on thats when the anger unfolds, sometimes the worries and the trials of my world become to much and most recently i felt as though i could not endure another battle and i asked God to bring me home, dealing with the ugliness of the world on top of my heart getting tired was just becoming too much...